whats up

it's friday night!

i have the apartment to myself

so i am pantless

(FUCK PANTS!!!)

i am meditating every morning and night

i am diligently logging calories into 'myfitnesspal'

i am running semi-regularly

i am embarrassed by all of these things even tho they are good for me

is this blog for feelings or for life minutiae 

i think i forgot

i've been worrying a lot about the future

but also amazed i still have another year of college left 

it's like..... man, gotta do this again? no way!!

i hope my life changes for the better in the next year

i feel like it has since the past year

so presumably the trend will continue indefinitely

until i'm just like, the happiest

thoughtz

my mind has always been an asshole

latching onto some upsetting thing

then amplifying it, building more and more momentum

until everything is unnecessarily bleak as fuck

the idea of meditation being something joyful maybe seems weird

but i enjoy connecting back with my present environment 

and realizing that i dont have to fall down the same rabbit holes

if you allow yourself to uncritically examine the world around you

you can find so much hidden beauty

swarthmore is so green 

so many beautiful, picturesque trees

i am so grateful to be here