i was surprised by her response and i am surprised by my response to her response
i am crying right now, without being sure why i am crying
i am being kind of childish
i don't think my parents understand me. i don't think i understand them
i don't know how a person like me emerged from a combination of their genes and this environment
i don't know how to solve or articulate these problems properly
maybe i don't have any other responses to "not getting my way" than crying
it's like i barely have enough energy to go about my life uninterrupted
and when things deviate from that in any way
i feel overwhelmed and angry
are children throwing tantrums aware that they are being unreasonable, on some level
do they feel a kind of powerlessness while watching their behavior unfold
almost as something separate from themselves
am i aware i'm being unreasonable
am i being unreasonable
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