ding ding ding ding ding

one of my goals should be to write every day again
writing on the Internet seems easier than writing in an actual journal
even if it means I feel less comfortable talking about things/people super super openly

i haven't figured out whether the tendency to overanalyze my emotional experiences is actually conducive to growing as a person, or whether it's ultimately bad for me
i think probably some sorting out of things is necessary
but there are times when i turn over the same thing over and over, only making things worse

this week was weird
i used to think i was the kind of person who enjoyed being alone for long periods of time
to some extent, i am
but being at college has made me feel Bad about any time not spent studying/with people/doing something productive
like it's embarrassing to have Free Time

i didn't really do anything over break
didn't read or hang out with anyone or get ahead of work

still don't have plans for the summer but i did finally apply for the some things!!! and i will apply for more things in the future

i want to make an effort to start writing creatively. i have a lot of different ideas, and it would be good to actually Produce something

i'm not completely sure what will make me happy but i want to be the kind of person who pursues the things they want instead of just passively letting things happen